Soul Care and Self-Care for the Christian

What is Christian Soul Care?

Soul Care is essentially about what God is doing in us, and less about what we do, because doing spiritual disciplines alone cannot bring about healing or transformation in the human heart. It is not within our power to change ourselves into the image of Christ, but it is within our power to open our hearts to God and to allow Him to do His work of spiritual transformation in us. Spiritual disciplines/ practices help us to situate ourselves in God’s presence, so that He can care for us, love on us and attend to the needs of our soul.

Christian Soul Care refers to the practices and processes rooted in the Christian faith that nurture, nourish and restore the well-being of a person’s inner life. This involves giving attention to and caring for the spiritual, emotional and relational aspects of a person from a biblical and Christ-centred perspective, so that the individual experiences healing, wholeness and deeper intimacy with God, and is empowered to live a life of hope, joy, meaning and purpose.

Christian Soul Care is broad and multifaceted, and can include ministries like biblical counselling, prayer ministry, inner healing, life coaching, discipleship, addiction recovery, pastoral care, spiritual direction, retreats and spiritual renewal, just to name a few.

The content of this website and the type of soul care ministry I am offering will specifically focus on spiritual direction, retreats and spiritual renewal.

Self-Care is Not Selfish

The term “self-care” has become increasingly commercialised, and I see it come up in skincare advertisements, fitness regimens and holistic health movements like meditation and massage therapy. It is no wonder that Christians can sometimes confuse self-care with “selfish care”, thinking that such a self-indulgent lifestyle is unbefitting for the Christian who is supposed to deny oneself and take up one’s cross!

In missions, the concept of Self-Care comes up in Member Care, which is defined by the Global Member Care Network, as “the ongoing preparation, equipping and empowering of mission personnel for effective and sustainable life, ministry and work.” In recent years, there have been more discussions on marrying the two concepts, in order to foster resilience and longevity on the mission field. The individual missionary needs to take responsibility for their own well-being, instead of just relying on receiving care and support resources from their sending church or mission organisation.

However, there is resistance to the concept of Self-Care when mission workers confuse it with “selfish care”, thinking that it is a luxury to take time out for themselves when they are already so busy, or to spend money on “non-essentials”, like going away on a retreat, a holiday, or to take up a new hobby when they are already living on a budget and need to be accountable to their financial supporters.

Often times, those in Christian ministry may also have a “martyr mentality”, serving the needs of others at their own expense, as they wear self-sacrifice and burnout as their badges of honour in Christian service. This is a misconception, and not the kind of life that Jesus invites us to in Matthew 11:28 –30.

Self-Care is the ability an individual has to look after and maintain their physical, mental and emotional well-being, in order to ensure that they are thriving in life, and not merely surviving.

Practising good self-care is about attending to and honouring the limits God has placed on the human body. This includes being intentional about rest/sleep, nutrition, exercise, and setting good boundaries on our time, relationships and service. Being able to say ‘no’ is an act of wisdom and a necessary self-care principle, particularly for those of us who identify as overtly responsible.

Self-Care Versus Spiritual Formation

While it is good to lead a disciplined life and develop self-care practices like proper nutrition, having a good work/life balance, getting enough sleep, physical exercise, going for walks, practicing gratitude and meditation etcetera, these practices may not necessarily have anything to do with God.

It is a common misconception to frame some of these disciplines and self-help practices as spiritual formation, if our motives for doing them are really more for self-improvement. For instance, I’ve had friends who chose to fast chocolate during the season of Lent, but their motivation for the fast was more to cut back on their sugar intake and get their bodies back into shape. Nothing wrong with that, but if you are not doing the fast as a spiritual practice in order to spend more time in prayer, let's not call it a Lenten fast or see it as a spiritual discipline.

Contrary to self-improvement, spiritual disciplines are practices which we arrange our lives around, so that we position ourselves to be open and ready for God to speak and to do His work of transformation in us. Spiritual disciplines are not a gauge of spiritual maturity, but they are a means to an end — they are training exercises which empower us to live in God’s kingdom, something we cannot do by our willpower alone.

Where Self-Care Overlaps with Spiritual Formation

While self-care practices are not necessarily spiritual disciplines, they can become spiritual practices if we prayerfully tune our attention and our awareness towards God. What if your morning run is not just your exercise routine, but it becomes an intimate time of communion with the Lord as you become aware of God’s presence with you in the activity, God’s breath flowing in and through your lungs, and God’s voice speaking through the sights, sounds and smells you encounter on the run?

Because human personality is embodied, true Christian spirituality cannot be reduced to holding right beliefs about God or to ritualistic practices, but it has to take into account the whole person. Embracing an embodied spirituality — experiencing God and living out our spirituality in our humanity — means knowing that our bodies and our souls are linked, so taking care of our bodies and paying attention to our physical limitations, as well as to our emotional needs is not 'secular' and selfish, but is actually sacred and honouring to God.

Any mundane activity in our daily life can become a spiritual practice, if we learn to prayerfully tune our attention to the presence of God in the ordinariness of our day. This concept of “practising the presence of God” was best exemplified by the 17th century Carmelite monk, Brother Lawrence who maintained a simple, habitual attentiveness to the presence of God while working his mundane chores and washing dishes in the kitchen.

What activity do you find relaxing and life-giving? Gardening, knitting, creative writing, hiking, floral arrangement or simply time alone at home? What would it be like to invite Jesus into these times, and to enjoy the activity with Him?